| The Great Divide |
As we begin the New Year, I wish to share a thought that is close to my heart. The elderly. Visitation to
Senior Citizen's Homes sometimes can be tragic. Personally, I love to sit and talk with its occupants, but
there is dire sense of neglect by family members and the church. In December of 2009, I visited an
elderly minister in a hospital. Father of 7, his children all grown with their own families took turns in the
hospital, he was never alone. So much love and care was shown it gave me joy. Their love for their dad
was a joy to behold, never impatient or what time is my relief coming.
Yet, there is the darker side of the elderly neglect by family members. Mrs. C ( may she rest in peace) as
I called her, had 5 children, all lived within minutes of the (politically correct) Assisted Living Facility, yet
they were never around. Mrs. C and I would sit and talk for at least two (2) hours on Sundays. She would
tell me the same story each week, never a variation in her story. It was the same weekly, she just did not
remember she told me last week. At some point, one of her children would walk in, “Hi Ma", give her a
kiss, ramble off a few words, and, out the door. I almost felt that they had left the car engine running
while they visited Ma. When Mrs. C went to her final rest they squabbled fiercely over her assets.
There was my good friend Wanda. Dementia had begun to set in. She too was put Assisted Living
Facility. Her family came often, but not for long visits. Wanda would often remind me, "Look Hartley, I am
not sick, just shut in.". I smiled.
The elderly today are treated as if they are a bother to us. We seem to never able to give them quality
time, it as almost like why don’t you die so I can get on with my life. Sad, but true.
As we enter this New Year, we urge you not to forget the elderly. One of the great excuses that many
give is that they can get better cared for in an Assisted Living Facility. There is a measure of truth to
this, but nothing can compare to the love that you can give them, with quality visits. These visits might
even add years to their twilight.
The Church is not blameless in this. Many of these said elderly were constant attendees to church,
never missing tithing, or participation. Yet Pastors find themselves to busy to drop by, but have lauds of
tributes in eulogies when final rest should come. See Mr. Henderson in an Assisted Living Facility in
St Louis, Missouri. I did not know him, but since I went there weekly to visit another, I would see him
alone gazing through the window, waiting for his pastor to pick him up for church. Facility records
showed Mr. Henderson, in five (5) years, never left the building.
Do not forget the elderly, they cared and love us when we grew. Let us now show the love to them they
once gave.
A poem submitted by a friend who now cares for her elderly Mom:
An Ode to Elder Parents Everywhere
Time has passed since I was small
But Things you Taught helped me grow tall
There’s many times I’ve done things wrong
And seen the sadness it has brought on
But one thing now, I hope you both know
I’ve tried my best to do what you’ve showed
A tender smile, a helping hand, a welcome to my fellow man
The kindness and love you have given to me
Will be passed on to my own family
And then someday when they grow tall
I pray to the Lord that they will recall
The Love, the Warmth, the Kind Tender Hand
The helpfulness that have made you both Grand
Once the Lord calls you home, heaven will be blessed
Just as I’ve been blessed to have you both in my life here on earth….
Thank you Lord for giving me the opportunity to care for my parents, just as they have cared for me.
V. Eden
Watch how you go this Year.
+ Hartley
Senior Citizen's Homes sometimes can be tragic. Personally, I love to sit and talk with its occupants, but
there is dire sense of neglect by family members and the church. In December of 2009, I visited an
elderly minister in a hospital. Father of 7, his children all grown with their own families took turns in the
hospital, he was never alone. So much love and care was shown it gave me joy. Their love for their dad
was a joy to behold, never impatient or what time is my relief coming.
Yet, there is the darker side of the elderly neglect by family members. Mrs. C ( may she rest in peace) as
I called her, had 5 children, all lived within minutes of the (politically correct) Assisted Living Facility, yet
they were never around. Mrs. C and I would sit and talk for at least two (2) hours on Sundays. She would
tell me the same story each week, never a variation in her story. It was the same weekly, she just did not
remember she told me last week. At some point, one of her children would walk in, “Hi Ma", give her a
kiss, ramble off a few words, and, out the door. I almost felt that they had left the car engine running
while they visited Ma. When Mrs. C went to her final rest they squabbled fiercely over her assets.
There was my good friend Wanda. Dementia had begun to set in. She too was put Assisted Living
Facility. Her family came often, but not for long visits. Wanda would often remind me, "Look Hartley, I am
not sick, just shut in.". I smiled.
The elderly today are treated as if they are a bother to us. We seem to never able to give them quality
time, it as almost like why don’t you die so I can get on with my life. Sad, but true.
As we enter this New Year, we urge you not to forget the elderly. One of the great excuses that many
give is that they can get better cared for in an Assisted Living Facility. There is a measure of truth to
this, but nothing can compare to the love that you can give them, with quality visits. These visits might
even add years to their twilight.
The Church is not blameless in this. Many of these said elderly were constant attendees to church,
never missing tithing, or participation. Yet Pastors find themselves to busy to drop by, but have lauds of
tributes in eulogies when final rest should come. See Mr. Henderson in an Assisted Living Facility in
St Louis, Missouri. I did not know him, but since I went there weekly to visit another, I would see him
alone gazing through the window, waiting for his pastor to pick him up for church. Facility records
showed Mr. Henderson, in five (5) years, never left the building.
Do not forget the elderly, they cared and love us when we grew. Let us now show the love to them they
once gave.
A poem submitted by a friend who now cares for her elderly Mom:
An Ode to Elder Parents Everywhere
Time has passed since I was small
But Things you Taught helped me grow tall
There’s many times I’ve done things wrong
And seen the sadness it has brought on
But one thing now, I hope you both know
I’ve tried my best to do what you’ve showed
A tender smile, a helping hand, a welcome to my fellow man
The kindness and love you have given to me
Will be passed on to my own family
And then someday when they grow tall
I pray to the Lord that they will recall
The Love, the Warmth, the Kind Tender Hand
The helpfulness that have made you both Grand
Once the Lord calls you home, heaven will be blessed
Just as I’ve been blessed to have you both in my life here on earth….
Thank you Lord for giving me the opportunity to care for my parents, just as they have cared for me.
V. Eden
Watch how you go this Year.
+ Hartley
| The Elderly: DO NOT FORGET THEM HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL! |